The dichtomy of birthdays - an adult with congenital heart defects inner dialogue

:-) Yeah, I'm 39!

:-( Boo, I'm getting older!

:-) Yeah, I've outlived all expectations!

:-( Shit, how long can this go on for!

:-) Yeah, I'm fitter than I've ever been!

:-( So if I slow down is that age or the dicky-ticker?

:-) Yeah, I've lots of good friends hitting significant birthdays (some on the same day as me)

:-( Fuck it, I've lost lots of good friends who will never have another birthday (some of whose birthdays were the same day as me)

:-) new tent! My birthday present to myself

:-( means I need a new rucksack (look its my birthday and therefore my logic... )

:-) new rucksack... shiny (my eyesight too)

:-( it'll have to be my Christmas present to myself

:-) the next 3 weekends I'm walking; GUCH Walking Club, a BHF Challenge walk and leading a team from work on what will turn into a 124mile walk (in 10 stages... 10months)

:-( I have friends I'd love to walk with again, who won't be there.

So lay-in and birthday breakfast had, pottered around for a bit, followed by corn-fed chicken breast with rosti and a white sauce (made from a roux). Now time for a large scotch, a quiet night and silent toast to those who I wish I could share the drink with




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